my glorious days

emilymurda @ 2007-03-08T09:11:00

2007-03-08T14:12:56Z

I've officially lost 30 lbs. I feel so much better about myself but I'd still like to lose about 6 more pounds.

OMG

2007-02-23T00:38:10Z

I got a tattoo.

why?

2007-02-21T03:09:39Z

he doesn't want a relationship. he just got out of a two and a half year relationship a few months ago. he wants to just be friends. then why did he lead me on for a month?

emilymurda @ 2007-02-15T16:09:00

2007-02-15T21:22:36Z

Went to Olin because I have gastritis caused by stress. Basically, my stomach is making too much acid so I'm on a drug that stops it from making acid completely. I know it's really caused by worrying over Mark but I don't know what to do about it.

He confuses me. Last night he made me dinner (fettucini alfredo, my choice) and he even made garlic bread and a salad. He wore his glasses around me for the first time (usually he wears contacts). I brought a bottle of rioja wine. The noodles were undercooked, but we laughed about it. We went in his hot tub, but had to jump the fence because when they plowed the sidewalks they pushed snow up to the gate so it was closed shut. He helped me over. Finished the bottle in the tub. He threw a snowball at me and I said I wouldn't forgive him. I gave in. Watched the Colbert Report, which I'm glad he likes. He kissed me on the forehead (I don't know what that means in guy language) and he seemed more affectionate than usual. He talks in his sleep but he doesn't believe me. Today I wrote on his facebook wall, thanking him for dinner and saying I would cook for him next. He deleted the comment, along with one another girl made saying "happy valentine's day ;o)". I don't know. I'm afraid at his party this weekend I am just going to disappoint myself.

I'm sorry if that was a terribly uninteresting paragraph to read, but I had to say it.

what's that right there?

2007-02-05T16:56:04Z

scale says I've lost 9.5 lbs since coming back up to school. which better be true, since I go to the gym almost every day.

watched the superbowl at mark's apt. yesterday. i don't really like football and i had no idea what was going on most of the time so i just kept my mouth shut. but then we went in the hot tub and that made up for it. we're going to play tennis tomorrow tonight. i hope he takes me somewhere for valentine's day.

it's soooo cold. i hate it.

emilymurda @ 2007-01-11T22:29:00

2007-01-12T03:34:20Z

Shin splints are the worst. I would run more but I'm afraid of hurting myself.

I wish I could ride up here besides polo. Cocktail party next weekend for polo then the Honors Ball in February, so I want to get into better shape. So far I've gone to the gym everyday, if only for half an hour because of my shins or calves or whatever actual muscle/tendon it is that's tearing.

Any remedies besides not running? All of the goddamn ellipticals are always taken and I don't feel like waiting 15 minutes in line for one.

emilymurda @ 2007-01-09T19:09:00

2007-01-10T00:10:38Z

Today I ran 2 miles, did upper body weight lifting then biked 7.5 miles. I feel so accomplished.

emilymurda @ 2007-01-02T21:02:00

2007-01-03T01:02:08Z

I find myself translating a lot of things I say and think into Spanish in my head.

I am still trying to convince my parents to buy a house with acreage and move (not that far away). There is a house in Addison Twp. with 6 acres and we can definitely afford it. My mom thinks she's too old to take care of horses. I tell her she should be living vicariously through me and take care of my horse while I am in college, then I will take it back once I've graduated.

emilymurda @ 2006-12-30T13:07:00

2006-12-30T17:07:26Z

I still have no plans for new years eve. This sucks.

all things go

2006-12-28T17:44:42Z

I had a dream last night that was really weird. It wasn't quite first person, and I wasn't me. I was a child, practically a baby, but had full motion skills. I don't know if I really made decisions, but I saw everything the child did and felt emotion from it in my dream. Anyway, the child is in the attic of a house. It's really stuffy and the child (I) am trying to break through the roof. I don't know why, until the child decides to go down to the first level of the house. The tile floor is very hot and I remember (in my dream I remember) that I was in the house because there was a lava flow. Someone saved me by putting me in the house and I got as far away as I could from the windows/direction where the lava was coming from. By now it has cooled off and stopped flowing. I go by the front of the house. There is a little garden and walkway with a picket fence in front and I see dried lava, but it looks more brown than black. There is a person stuck in the lava, kind of how you see the casts of the people they make for Pompeii. Except he moves. He is covered with it but he somehow manages to crawl out of it like a snake shedding its skin. His body is sheared almost symmetrically in half, except for his face, which is complete but contorted into something painful. There is no blood. I peer through the window, thinking he won't notice me, but his eyes swivel around and stop on where I am standing. I suddenly feel a shock of fear, similar to a deer caught in the headlights. I feel like I can't move but I make myself. This is the person that saved me. I don't know why I'm so scared. I crawl back to the kitchen area, where everything is white. The tile on the floor is white, the cabinets are whitewashed wood, the sunlight coming through the window above the sink is white. I always wake up sweaty with my heart pounding from these dreams.

I feel useless at home

2006-12-26T20:40:14Z

Abbie Hoffman was the answer in a crossword puzzle today. My mom and I spent an hour and a half filling out crossword puzzles. She gets mad though because when I figure out one word I can usually figure out 5 more around it and I just keep going really fast so I don't lose my thought process. I feel bad for people that don't get along with their parents because (although it seems sad to say) my parents are some of my favorite company.

Walking the dog today my dad was talking about how I will be doing study abroad for a semester next year in Mexico, and how I won't be home for spring break. He suggested the rest of the family take a trip down to where I will be, in Monterrey. We haven't taken an international vacation in about 3 years. I know some people never have but we try to do it as often as time and money allow.

I should probably call some people, get together before I have to go back up to EL. Call me if you want to hang out with me and I haven't called you yet. I don't mean that in a "you don't matter" way, I just probably don't have your phone number.

Did everyone get what they wanted for Christmas?

Another crossword answer was Blaze in Brooklyn? Does anyone know what that means?

emilymurda @ 2006-12-21T13:47:00

2006-12-21T17:47:32Z

So I've started working out with weights again and I did my upper body yesterday. Whenever I move my arms I can feel my muscles stretching and tearing. No pain no gain, na mean.

I'm pissed because Joe is never home early enough to play with my foot mallets with me.

FREE SHORTS FROM AMERICAN APPAREL, THANK YOU SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE

P.S. - the last Harry Potter book is called Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

emilymurda @ 2006-12-19T15:10:00

2006-12-19T19:10:37Z

Yesterday Ben and I drove to Somerset. I had to return a houndstooth scarf I bought for myself at Gap because I learned later that day that my aunt bought it for me for Christmas.

While I'm driving, he starts reading Bukowski poems to me. I'm pretending to listen to one saying how Ernest Hemingway was beautiful. I don't really think you can call a man that was in a world war and that enjoyed hunting and drinking beautiful. But he was probably fun to be around. Until he put a shotgun in his mouth. Anyways, he's reading it out loud and I'm changing radio stations and I hear "Rio." I turn my head to look at him and just start bobbing it and smiling. He's so pissed I can't appreciate good poetry. I just keep bobbing my head.

I didn't realize until recently that "adios" is literally, "to God." Or that it's the same thing with French and "adieu."

emilymurda @ 2006-12-18T09:49:00

2006-12-18T13:49:51Z

will someone please recommend a good fantasy series? I am finishing the last book that's out of a song of ice and fire and I will need something after it.

no science fiction.

and please do not recommend eragon. I will shoot myself in the face.

emilymurda @ 2006-12-16T10:12:00

2006-12-16T14:12:39Z

Waiting 2 hours for Sagebrush is ridiculous.

Then going to an abandoned house at 10 at night is even more ridic.

emilymurda @ 2006-12-15T15:44:00

2006-12-15T19:44:43Z

I stole 30 teabags from the cafeteria before leaving. Mostly Persian Mint Spice, but some Peppermint too. You can't buy Persian Mint Spice at any grocery stores around here. I even tried Trader Joe's. My mate gourd set came in the mail and I will start drinking that. I wish I knew someone that did it regularly, because there is a certain method for brewing it. Maybe Wikipedia can help me.

My foot mallets came yesterday, too. My dad was really excited about them but he always works until after the sun sets and then you can't really see the ball outside. Sunday, maybe.

I went to Somerset today to pick up gift cards for my mom to give my cousins as presents. The houndstooth scarf at Gap that I like finally went on sale and I bought it. Hopefully no one else got it for me for Christmas. I might have to wait until afterwards to wear it. They had the mall all decorated and there was a station in the middle of the south (I think? the cheaper side) with a santa station. They actually had the women helpers dressed in medieval dresses. It was kind of weird. I was tempted to go into the north wing of the mall but I start drooling when I get to Louis Vuitton and Coach. Plus I hate saying that I'm just browsing and don't need any help. Those stores don't even put price tags on anything. I don't know if I would like it or not to have so much money that I wouldn't have to think before buying something.

I had my first riding lesson of break yesterday. On the beast. I'm sore all over. Even my pectorals are sore and I don't know how the hell I exercised those. I really wish I had my own horse right now.

My guinea pig in my dorm room chewed through my phone charger cord so I had to buy a new one. It's ridiculous how much they are. I had to pay $30 because I didn't need a car charger. Total BS.

I now have a dark spot on my nose where the bump was. The stud in my nose is gone and I think my dermatologist cauterized over the hole so I won't be able to put anything back in it. It feels so weird touching my nose, after having felt something there for 4 months. I can still feel a raised section on the inside of my nostril where the piercing hasn't completely closed off. Hopefully it heals well.

I don't want to work at Office Max anymore, but I need money. I haven't called about asking for shifts but I'm always so bored there and hopefully I can just pick up more shifts at the caf when spring semester starts so I can replenish my bank account after spending so much on presents.

emilymurda @ 2006-12-11T22:13:00

2006-12-12T02:13:24Z

I took the stud out of my nose. I'm going to permanently keep it out.

I'm getting the bump removed from my nose on Thursday morning.
GOING UNDER THE KNIFE.

Juanes be my lover

2006-12-05T19:20:28Z

My room smells so badly like burnt popcorn. I hate it but I'm too lazy to empty my trash. I need to run more. Or get some exercise DVDs for Christmas. This basic pilates isn't doing it for me.

I'm getting so excited about polo. I'm getting 2 foot mallets and I bought a mini soccer ball so I can practice my swings. Now I just need my own polo pony. I need to start managing my money better. And my future.

I am not excited about working 3 times in the caf this weekend. And tomorrow morning.

emilymurda @ 2006-12-04T19:42:00

2006-12-04T23:42:27Z

I've been drinking a lot of tea now that it's winter. So far, Celestial Seasonings apple cinnamon spice is by far the worst tasting. I prefer mint-based teas because they are both warm and refreshing, ie Tazo Refresh. I used to hate tea.

emilymurda @ 2006-11-30T23:51:00

2006-12-01T03:51:29Z

I have a guinea pig in my dorm room. I like to call him "Computer" so people don't know I have contraband in my room.

emilymurda @ 2006-11-28T23:33:00

2006-11-29T03:33:20Z

The opposite of love is indifference.

I wish this didn't come from the Bible.

emilymurda @ 2006-11-28T17:45:00

2006-11-28T21:45:55Z

I had a dream I was riding Loyal (the fatass horse I have to ride since I don't have one anymore) and he turned into a seamonster. Kind of like Loch Ness. But he still had a saddle on.

Boo. Why do I bother writing in this?

emilymurda @ 2006-11-26T21:32:00

2006-11-27T01:32:53Z

I heard someone snapping their fingers in the hall outside my dorm room and could've sworn it was my brother's snap. How the fuck would I know that?

It feels so weird being back at school. I wasn't looking forward to it at all because I didn't get any of my homework done over break. What's the point of having a break if you can't enjoy it? My grandma is sick again (dehydrated, which causes her to be disoriented and confused.) I spent most of my time either cleaning, Christmas shopping, or with family. We were originally going to have Thanksgiving at my aunt's house but since we brought my grandma over to our house we had it here instead. It's so scary watching her sleep; she is constantly moving as if she's always dreaming.

After being surrounded by people all weekend, it feels wrong to be back in my dorm room. My roommate's not back yet so I'm by myself. I guess it would be the opposite of claustrophobia, but I hate it. I hate the silence and I hate being by myself. I seriously don't know what I'll do when I get a house by myself.

Quote of the day: Ralph sticks an ice cream cone on his forehead: "I'm a unitard."

emilymurda @ 2006-11-26T17:04:00

2006-11-26T21:04:24Z

I heard someone snapping their fingers in the hall outside my dorm room and could've sworn it was my brother's snap. How the fuck would I know that?

P.S. Howl is so dreamy.

emilymurda @ 2006-11-23T09:53:00

2006-11-23T13:53:01Z

I had a dream that Kate Hawes sent me a note, but it was written on her business card. It said to keep in touch and she wrote her phone number down in pencil. It also had her myspace, hahaha. Does Old Navy give out business cards?